space

I feel like I can't get quite enough of it lately. I know this feels ironic, and completely unlike me, as most of you know, I am unusually social, and seek out social engagements, and environments... and yet - why is it, that I am longing for more space, by myself, with a book, with my journal.

where are my priorities? what are they?

I feel extremely inconsistent, bad at what I do, that I have a lack of any clear goals or achievements that I am dreaming about for myself... I am floating along, very unclear of what I should be focusing my time and energy on.

now - we always bear in mind, that the day, time of day, and all those other associative factors - have a large role to play in the state of my heart and mind right now.
Will I feel focused, and passionate about life and my goals tomorrow?! Maybe...
But wait, what are my goals?!?!?!?!

I hate that the people I am technically supposed to be honest with I have such a hard time being honest with. Because it makes me question things I shouldn't question... but I just can't tell the truth! ARGH!!!

how important is it to know my goals... all the time? Everyday? Has Christ called me to be focused on only one thing? One more than one!? On too many things!?!?!?!?!?
How am I to love my husband, and my family, and my friends, be passionate about my job, be passionate about creating music, be passionate about meeting and building relationships with people who don't know Christ - and more - how am I to do all that? With the time I have been given!??!? I don't know.

I am frustrated with work relationships today - and will choose to ask the Grace of Christ into those situations - otherwise I am hopeless.
Is it okay that I am a cheezy Jesus nerd? What the HECK!?!?!?!?!?

are there questions today? Anyone? Feel the questions?
me too.

cheers!

mariajane.